


baby i'm a sociopath

by WelcomeToTheBadlands



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bisexual Poe Dameron, Dependent personality disorder, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Possessive Behavior, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Pure Ben Solo, Rey is OOC, Semi Dark? Fic, Stalking, Violence, Virgin Ben Solo, idk - Freeform, sorta dark idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-10-26 15:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17748092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WelcomeToTheBadlands/pseuds/WelcomeToTheBadlands
Summary: sweet serial killer -Ben Solo is an English major with social anxiety who meets a girl that's way above his league in a bar. It seems like a dream come true, but Rey is more than meets the eye.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rey is out of character in this fic, if assassins aren't your thing don't read thanks. all sex is consensual in this fic

 

The first time that Ben Solo saw Rey, she was at a bar and the both of them were too young to be there. She was beautiful, and way out of his league. After one or two drinks, he was already gaining the courage to go and talk to her. He adjusted his glasses and took a deep breath in, finally going to sit down next to her. Rey had this look in her eyes that was cold and distant and somehow warm and inviting at the same time. Ben fell in love with her before he even said anything to her, even though he would never tell anyone that. It sounded weird and creepy in his head, even if he was drunk. “You going to talk or just stare?” Rey raised an eyebrow at him, she looked amused.  

“Sorry.” He said. “I just – you looked interesting and I wanted to talk to you. I’m not good at this.” Rey smiled at him.  

“That’s fine,” Rey shrugged, “so, mystery man what is it that you would like to talk about?”  

“My name’s Ben,” he was already kicking himself for not telling her what his name was. That must have seemed creepy. He adjusted his glasses and then adjusted himself in the seat. “You?”  

“Rey,” She smiled. She didn’t seem offended about the fact that he was sitting next to her. Maybe that was because he was a little drunk, though. “It’s nice to meet you, Ben.” Ben couldn’t remember everything that the both of them talked about, all he remembered was that they started off talking about their majors and then books and all the sudden they were outside as Ben was throwing up and Rey was right there next to him. University was two blocks away; his dorm wasn’t much further. Rey said that since they were going to the same place, Rey would walk with him.  

He was grateful that he wasn’t walking alone. “You know for someone so big you seem like kind of a lightweight.” She told him.  

“Yes,” Ben said, “I am.”  

“Then why drink? Seems like more of a hassle for you than anything else.”  

“I guess you’re right,” The reason he went out to clubs was because he rarely would go out and make friends. The club wasn’t the best place to make a friend, but he needed some form of social interaction to try and get rid of his social anxiety. There was a weird calmness emanating from Rey that made him feel more at ease at the time. He was silent for a bit before he said, “Why are you walking me home?”  

“You seemed drunk and sick and you didn’t have anyone else to walk you home. So, I’m just making sure you’re safe.” Ben thought that was funny, considering the fact that he was so much bigger than she was. It was still sweet though. “Anyways, if you want me to leave I can.”  

“No,” He said. “No.”  

The both of them got back to his dorm, it was dark and Ben wasn’t sure what happened that lead them to the conversations of one-night stands. All he remembered was Rey asking, “Do you want to fuck?”  

He was awake and lucid and sobering up. She was as beautiful as she was when he was slightly drunk. “Yes,” He told her. It was a haze of something that was unromantic and quick, but it stuck in Ben’s head. She gave him her phone number and they did this for a week, before she just disappeared.  

***  

Rey didn’t know what to do when Ben sat down at her table. She was supposed to be undercover, and she couldn’t draw attention to herself. She was scoping out the person that she was supposed to target that night, he was meeting with a girl who was definitely underage.  **Take pictures, do not engage until enough proof is retrieved.**  

Her target left early, and Ben came over. She knew she should have found a reason to leave, but she was bored, and part of her wanted to toy with someone a little. That was why she started talking to him about books. It was clear from the start that he was an English major, the glasses, the way he dressed, everything. The poor boy was too nervous to even be out in public.  

Maybe Rey let him fuck her because she pitied him, maybe she did it for her own selfish reasons. Who knew? Ben Solo was a virgin, and while his looks were good and enough to get him somewhere with someone, it was easy to tell that he was inexperienced. That’s when Rey took over, telling him that it was okay. They did this for a week.  _Ben had potential,_ she told herself,  _even with the inexperience._  

Rey left him high and dry after that, the whole week she had been collecting evidence against her target. He was exploiting young girls for sex, saying that they would pass their midterms if they put out for him enough.  _Disgusting._ It was times like these where Rey relished her job. Even if the deaths that she delivered were quick and inconspicuous, she enjoyed passing him on the street, pricking him with her knife in the leg. 

He showed up dead four hours later.  

Cause of death, sliced femoral artery.  

*** 

Ben knew that he shouldn’t have gotten attached to Rey, she left after a week. He thought that maybe she would turn up around campus, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found. Ben didn’t know where she went. That was at the back of his mind though, when the campus was momentarily shut down. Some professor was found dead in his office and no one knew anything.  

Ben went home that week as security was ramped off, and everyone seemed on edge. Everything seemed back to normal again after that. Ben went to his classes, read, and studied like any normal college student would.  

Then Rey showed back up in town.  


	2. picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im not used to writing smut so it's minimal rn but Im trying and there will b more as the fic goes on

Rey didn’t think that she would run into Ben Solo again, but there she was reading a Jack Kerouac book by the side of some indie coffee shop.  He saw her first, apparently catching her off guard. “Rey?” 

“Ben? Oh hi,” She smiled at him, that same warm and inviting smile that she flashed the first time the two of them had met. All the sudden, Ben forgot that he had been disappointed that she had just left like that. “How are you?”  

“Good,” He said, “weird seeing you here.”  

“Yeah,” Rey said, “it is, isn’t it?” She kicked out the chair opposite her. “Here, go ahead and sit.” He sat across from her, remembering what he wanted to ask her.  

“Where did you go?” He asked. “You were just there for a week and then you weren’t and I thought that I was going to see you on campus, but...”  

“Oh,” Rey said, “I went to go visit my cousin, she lives in Wyoming.”  

“In the middle of classes?”  

“It’s not like you have to be at every lecture to pass,” Rey shrugged, “I get someone to record my lectures so I can take notes later on.” He nodded like that made sense and the coast was clear.  

“I can go if you want, I don’t know if you wanted to see me more or not.” Rey stared at him for a second, looking him over before closing her book.  

“I wasn’t sure that you wanted to see  _ me  _ again,” She told him. “I mean if you do, I could get some condoms and come over later.” That was what she was used to, what she was willing to give. Rey wasn’t a person that did romance, she didn’t need romance, she didn’t get lonely. Rey just got bored.  

“Actually, I wanted to ask you out on a date.”  

*** 

That was fast. Ben felt like he was going too fast, and he didn’t want to freak Rey out. Maybe it was because she took his virginity that he just got attached. He felt like Rey was going to freak out at what he had said, but she just cocked her head to the side, looking him up and down again. “You don’t have to, I just thought that maybe there was something there. Sorry if I misread the situation.”  

“Where’d we go?” Rey said.  

“I’m fine with anywhere you want to go, the movies, the park, we could do a picnic, whatever works for you.” Rey was beaming and Ben found himself falling, even though it was way too fast for a normal relationship. He should have realized that it was too fast, he should have realized that the distant look in her eyes was something else should not have been normal.  

But he was in college and he was lonely and he was naïve.  

“I’d love a picnic,” Rey’s smile just radiated and made him feel so, so happy. He felt so happy. The two of them ended up talking for an hour before Ben had to go back to classes. Rey said that her next class was an hour after his but he should text her whenever he wanted to go on this date and the two of them would go out.  

Ben wasn’t suspicious at all.  

*** 

Rey was good at her work, she also prided herself on being able to pretend to be a normal person. Sometimes if she pretended enough, she could be a good person. After all, if you pretended to be something enough you could actually become that thing. Couldn’t you?  

Let’s be real, the thought of Rey being a good person was the farthest thing from her mind. She wasn’t delusional like most of the serial killers that haunted the world. “I need you to pick up something from Poe,” Her handler had called her over one of her many burner phones.  

“I’m not picking up anything from Poe.” Rey said. 

“You will do as I say or suffer the consequences.”  

The phone call ended. Rey really wasn’t looking forward from having to pick something up from Poe Dameron.  

*** 

_ Back when Rey was fifteen, she and Poe Dameron were dating. The both of them were doing a job in Russia and they were good at what they did. Rey had her orders though and even though she was dating Poe, she didn’t really care about what happened to him.  _

_ So, she did what she had to do. When he was in there dealing with the target, Rey waited for him to come out and ran him over with a car. Then went over him an extra two times to make sure that he was dead. Then she left him there, because she was young and careless.  _

_ The carelessness was something that cost her a few scars on her back that Ben didn’t notice because every time they had fucked, she had a shirt on. Now he was back in good standing with the boss and doing deliveries. She was sure that he would try and repay her for the things that she did.  _

_ *** _

So, it was time for her to put on an act. Rey loved putting on acts. She put her hair up in a wig and let the auburn hair that she put on fall down in waves. Next was sunglasses, luckily something that wasn’t conspicuous because the sun was out and it was bright that day. She stared at herself for a second in the mirror. “Beautiful.”  

She was talking about herself of course. Rey walked out the door and disappeared to the site that she was sent to. She met Poe there ten minutes before the scheduled time. “Ты рано. Это что-то новенькое.”  _ You’re early. That’s new.  _ Rey wasn’t Russian, but she was raised by one. She spoke it fluently by the time she was thirteen. Language was just something that she picked up easily.  

“Просто стараюсь делать свою работу в меру своих возможностей.” Ju _ st making sure that I do my job to the best of my ability. _ Right, he wanted to get in good standing with the boss again.  

“Listen,” Rey said, “before we make any transactions, I want to make sure that you’re okay. I still feel really bad about what happened. Really.” She played to his more masculine pride, tears watering her eyes. “You know that they would’ve killed me or sold me to someone else if I didn’t do something and I was scared. I was so, so scared.”  

“Hey, hey, it’s okay Rey.” She backed up, pretending to be scared. He was really gullible. He always had been. “It’s okay. I’m better, all fixed up. It’s fine.”  

“We should get that transaction done.” Rey shivered.  

“Right,” Poe went back to his truck and then came back to hand her a package. “Next target.” He told her. “This one’s going to be a longer one, and there’s three people involved. Sex traffickers. They’re big dudes. The one with the snake tattoo is the Kingpin, they want him alive.”  

“How alive?”  

“Alive enough to answer questions for interrogation.”  

“Will he die painfully?”  

“Yes.”  

“Good.” She said. Poe handed over a bag that Rey opened with bricks cash. 

“You get twenty thousand now. Thirty thousand when the job is done.”  

“You couldn’t have put it in a backpack? Or wired it to me?”  

“What, you don’t want it now?”  

“No, I do. But this a hassle.”  

Poe rolled his eyes and Rey took the bag. “Thank you, Poe.”  

*** 

They went for a picnic in a very public place on Thursday when the sun was shining and Ben thought it was beautiful. He picked some place with a lot of people because he didn’t want to make Rey uncomfortable, despite the fact that they had sex for at least a week. Rey was dressed in a jean jacket and sun dress and she looked absolutely beautiful. Rey had brought some sandwiches, brownies, and cookies. Ben brought drinks and chips and dip and the blanket that they used.  

“Can I be honest with you?” She told him. They were sitting near a lake and everything seemed like a fairytale. “I’ve never had a picnic.”  

“No way,”  

“Yes, way.” Rey smiled. “I’ve never had a picnic before. I’m not really the type of person to go on dates either. Most guys just want to fuck me and get it over with.”  

“Not to sound pretentious, but I'm not one of those guys.” Rey giggled at that.

“That sounded just a little pretentious.” 

“Good to know,” Ben said, “good to know.” He was blushing and he didn’t know why. Ben didn’t know what to talk about next, but it seemed that Rey was extroverted enough to carry the conversation.  

“What’s your favorite color?” It was such an easy question, but it was a start to the conversation.  

“Red, yours?”  

“Green.” Ben had to think of something else to say in between bites.  

“What’s your favorite book?”  

“The Road by Jack Kerouac, yours?”  

“That’s like asking what child is your favorite.” Ben said. “But I would have to say The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt,”  

“Interesting,” Rey said, “good book, mildly pretentious.”  

“Well you could expect nothing less from an English major, am I right?” The two of them laughed and finished up their meal. Rey and Ben packed up and said goodbye to each other. Ben laughed happy. He wasn’t sure if there was a more perfect way for the day to end. It was definitely amazing. Time to get back to reality and study.  

*** 

Rey came by later that night because Ben was stressed and horny. She had just gotten done stalking her targets when he had asked her to ‘help him out’. She pretended like she cared when she came over, saying hello to him when she came in and frowning when she saw just how stressed he was. “I don’t want you to think that I’m just using you for--”  

“Ben, I want to do this.”  

“Are you sure?”  

“Yes,” She put her coat on his chair.  

“Sit on the bed.” She told him. He did what he asked her to and Rey smiled. “That’s good.” Every time they fucked, he was still shaking and nervous, like any movement could be the wrong moment. Rey knew exactly how to make him feel good though, to make him more comfortable, and she intended to do just that.  

After having a little bit of fun.  

*** 

Rey was a tease.  

There was no deny that, but Ben liked it. He liked it when she wouldn’t let him touch her, grinded up against him and told him that she was waiting for him. To be honest, Ben was sure that she could have made him cum before even undressing him.  

Rey wanted it though, they undressed and they fucked and Ben ended up touching her. He just couldn’t help it. Rey was beautiful. He never noticed that she always wore a shirt when they had sex. If he had, he’d probably just write it off as an insecurity that made no sense.  

He normally didn’t last very long, but tonight, Rey was more devious than usual. She dragged it out as long as possible. Getting him nearly there and bringing him back down for a few seconds. This lasted for about three minutes before she finally let him climax, climbing off of him in another minute. Ben was in a haze when Rey sighed, she kissed him on the forehead and then put her clothes back on.  

It took him a second to realize that she was leaving, and he really didn’t want her to. For once, he would like to just have her stay, at least for the night. He was too stupid and awkward to say anything though. “Got to dash,” she told him. “I had a good night. You should sleep. Classes tomorrow,” She left his dorm in the next second.  

He already missed her. 


	3. hey lolita hey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just want to warn you that there is mention of sex traffickers and teenagers performing sexual acts, if that triggers you, it's okay if you don't read this chapter. no rape will occur.

When Rey was ten, she had been adopted by a mafioso who had taught her how to bury the body of her abusive stepfather, Unkar Plutt. It was not a stretch to say that he exploited Rey, either. In fact, exploit was a generous word for what the man got her into. Rey learned how to use sex to her advantage. He told her to worship the movies and books for Lolita, and even though she hated it she gritted her teeth and did what he asked her to. “There are some sick fucks out there.” He had told her. “They raped my daughter and killed her. We’re going to get revenge on them for that. I need your help with that.” Rey wanted to help him.  

So, she started to act sexual, she knew how to make older men stare at her by the time she was eleven. She knew how to make them hang on her ever word and fantasize about her. Call her things like nymphet, it made her sick to be near these men, but it was for a good cause. By twelve, Rey had killed a total of five men to get the approval of the man who adopted her. She told herself that it was for the approval of this man and nothing else.  

If she hadn’t been lying to herself, she would say that she always been off. Sort of vacant. Seeing people bleed out in front of her didn’t elicit the feelings that any normal person would feel. If she hadn’t been lying to herself, she knew that she would always come this way. It was just part of her soul.  

By the time she was thirteen, the men that her second stepfather worked for came for him. He owed a big sum of money and gave them Rey in return for his life. Rey went to Russia and learned the culture. They cut her hair and made her look like a boy. That’s when she met Poe Dameron, and he just about saved her life. “Hey, don’t you think that Rey could be really good in the field as a girl?” He had asked his bosses.  

They scoffed at the suggestion at first, but Poe continued, “No, think about it. Some of the greatest conmen are women, because men can’t ever believe that a woman would be smarter than them. We could put some makeup on her and make her seduce men, then she could kill them. She’s discreet, and well, a girl so the man would most likely be comfortable with her. She’ll be able to get in and out undetected.” His bosses actually thought about this.  

That’s when Rey got her first deal.  

*** 

One of the sex traffickers that Rey was going after was at the club. Rey had bound her chest and wore minimal makeup, putting her hair half up. She was wearing something too revealing for herself, and she looked barely legal. She knew what she had to do. She approached one of his friends first and stuck up a conversation with her. She casually sprinkled in the fact that she had turned eighteen two days ago, which wasn’t true.  

She was nearly twenty. She also mentioned that her parents were dead and that she needed a way to make money.  

That’s when she got introduced to him. She wanted to kill him right then and there in the club. He was an older man, who was admittedly well built, but malice oozed from his very being and she knew that many, many girls had suffered by his hand. Rey really hated it. She pretended to be the naïve girl who didn’t have another option.  

He was under the guise that she wanted to have sex with him, drugged her drink that he brought her, and she switched theirs when he glanced away briefly. He didn’t notice. Rey helped him out to her car when he was starting to get foggy, put him in the back and drove to her place. It was far away from the club that she had been sent to. to retrieve him.  She tied him up to her wall later and put a bag over his head. She’d interrogate him later, right now was time for a little beauty rest. 

*** 

Ben didn’t know if it was okay to text Rey.  

He did though.  

**Ben – Hey.**

He didn’t hear from her for sixteen hours and thirty-one minutes. He was thinking that he was getting too obsessive, that maybe she just wanted to have sex and that was it. He was turning into one of those guys that he thought was really creepy. Ben just put everything off and studied until later she answered. 

**Rey – Hey**

**Sorry**

**I misplaced my phone and it took me way too fucking long to find it and then I needed a shower**

Oh. Ben felt stupid for worrying.  

**Ben – No biggie**

**Rey – Did you need smth?**

**Ben – Not really, just wanted to see what you were up to**

Rey took a picture of herself with wet hair and no makeup on. She was beautiful, fuck.  

**Ben – You are way out of my league**

**Rey – don't speak down on yourself like that**

**Ben – sorry, a habit**

**Rey – habits are hard to kill, but still**

She was so nice. Ben didn’t know how he ever was fortunate enough to meet her.  

*******

Rey was blaring Lana Del Rey from her bluetooth speakers as loud as she could, like the stereotypical edgy white girl would. Mostly to hide the screaming more than anything else.  _ Would you be mine? Would you be mine? “ _ I think that I’m going to use you to send a message.” Rey said. The man below her looked up at her. He would have been pleading, but he hadn’t had water in thirty-eight hours and he was near delusional. Shame.  _ Kiss me in the p-a-r-k park tonight.  _

_ “Please,” _ He finally managed. Rey brought out her switch blade.  

“Pathetic,” She muttered in Russian.  

“Anyways, I need to know where your colleagues are and when I can put on a private show for them. So sorry to tell you that you’re not going to be joining that.”  

“Please don’t kill me.”  

“Tell me where they’ll be and I won’t kill you.”  _ Slowly. “ _ I promise.” It took everything in her not to laugh. She was a good actress though.  _ Hey Lolita, Hey! Hey Lolita, Hey! “ _ I promise. Just give me the information that I need and you can go.”  

*** 

Rey came over to watch a movie two days later. Before the movie she turned to Ben and said, “Can I tell you something?”  

“Yeah,” He said. “What is it?”  

“I wanted to tell you something because I think that you really like me and I’m not good at telling this stuff so you can stop me if I’m wrong.”  

“You’re right,” He said, “go on.”  

“But before you ask me if you want to start dating or something, I want to tell you that I haven’t always had the best relationship with sex.” He nodded, not sure what was going to happen next. “I already told you about guys just wanting to use me, but I started performing sexual acts at a very young age and it’s screwed up my feelings of intimacy and stuff like that. I’ve done it with men that were older when I was underage and that’s why I wear a shirt when we have sex because I just get self-conscious.”  

That was a lot to unpack. He had never asked her before about that, but she just out and told him.  

*** 

Rey only partially lied.  

This new mission had her thinking...  

*** 

“I’m glad that you told me that.” He told her. ”That doesn’t make me not like you anymore. I really like you Rey.” She smiled, and he saw that distant thing in her eyes again. He wasn’t really sure how to describe it.   “I was going to ask you if-” 

“If you wanted to date?” Rey asked. She actually sounded hopeful, and Ben couldn’t’ believe that he got a woman to be hopeful to be able to date him. There was a weird, narcissistic euphoria going through her head.  

“Would you?”  

“Yeah, I think that would be nice.” She said.  

“Alright then, let’s date.” Ben was excited and wasn’t really paying attention to the movie at all. He was blissful right now.  

Blissfully ignorant.  

*** 

Rey knew that she shouldn’t be leading this boy along as much as she was. She should let him know that she’s not right in the head, that she’s a psychopath. It was wrong to not tell him that. It was wrong to pretend that she was this perky college student that was lonely like he was.  

She was something else. 

Sometimes she wasn’t sure that she was even human. She didn’t feel like other people did. She liked watching other people get hurt or didn’t feel anything at all. She shouldn’t be near Ben. He was one of those people who was too pure for almost everyone that he came across.  

There wasn’t a lot of people like that left in the world.  

He should be cherished and not corrupted by her.  Rey smiled, knowing that dating Ben would present a problem. She would be away for missions and she would also have to keep up the charade of ‘hey, I’m not a serial killer or assassin.’ That sort of charade got harder and harder as time went on. The easy way out was just to kill him, but she didn’t want to do that. She didn’t like killing innocents and even if she did, she’d feel bad if she killed Ben.  

She had a soft spot for him already.  

That didn’t mean that she had feelings for him.  

Perhaps she was just getting a fascination for him. She hated that her brain did that every once and a while.  

She hated that her brain did that every once and a while. It would just fixate on something or someone so hard that she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Rey leaned on Ben and sighed as they watched the movie that she was only half paying attention to.  

Her muscles were sore with satisfaction.  

Cutting up that sex trafficker was more work than it should have been. She kept his thumb and his phone though. “You smell good.” He told her. Then he winced. “That was probably a weird thing to say.”  

“Not to you girlfriend.” She told him. “And thank you,” Rey had been told that she was always good at pretending to be normal. Poe had told her once that it was crazy and terrifying how she could flash a smile in one second that would make you feel like everything was right in the world and then be able to stab you in the next. Rey prided herself on being a good actress.  

“I liked it when you say that.” He told her.  

“What? That I’m your girlfriend?” The validation that some people needed was so strange to Rey, but she indulged Ben in what he wanted from her.  

“Yeah, that.” He was smiling like he was about to lose his virginity again. He adjusted his glasses nervously. “I’ve never had a girlfriend before.”  

“Well you have one now,” She told him. She kissed him on the cheek and he turned red. “You’re so cute. I don’t think that I can handle it.” Ben was blushing harder now. She got some sort of odd satisfaction out of that. Rey fell asleep on him during the movie shortly after. The two of them had been silent and it was one of those movies with a lot of British people and soft indie music.  

She couldn’t help it.  

She had to hide a body earlier that day, it was a long day for her.  

Rey had never fallen asleep in the bed of a man that she trusted before, so when she woke up with him passed out on the bed next to her knowing that nothing bad happened, part of her freaked out. She wasn’t the type of person to freak out, but she felt like she was itching and her muscles were contracting.  

She needed to get out of there. Rey slipped out the door before Ben could wake up. She left some bullshit note about needing to get home to study and hoped that he would buy it.  _ You’re leading him on, Rey. This is only going to end in him dying.  _ No, Ben Solo would not die by Rey’s hand and hell, while she was taking down these three sex traffickers in New York, she should be allowed to have a little fun.  

Especially after spending time around such dirty human beings. 

Ben could be her beacon of light for now. Leading him on wasn’t so bad at the moment, now was it? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter details Rey's past with sex and how she got to be the assassin that she is today.


	4. thrill of a lie

Rey wasn’t a stalker, she didn’t get obsessed.  

That never happened.  

She couldn’t stop thinking about Ben though, her little beacon of light. He looked so cute when he was reading. She stopped by the campus a few times that week to see what he was doing, to watch him study without him knowing. The case that she was working was taking longer than the usual one, so she thought, what’s the harm in killing a little of that time by watching Ben? 

That was as far as she was willing to go in violating Ben’s privacy, though. After all, he was still a person. Rey knew that she wouldn’t enjoy it if someone decided to get into her business.  

**_Ben – I wanna see you_ **

**_Rey – I know, baby_ **

**_Rey – all good things must wait_ **

She wished that she was killing time right now, staring at Ben, instead of doing what she was doing. Rey was working right now, staring at the two men that were left in the case that she’s working. She knew that she had to be careful here, the men that were wanted were influential people that looked for women like her.  

**_Ben - I know, it’s hard to wait though_ **

Rey looked around at her, watching as one of the men walked into a grocery store. She knew what was going to happen, but she couldn’t intervene. Not right now. That wasn’t part of her mission, she wasn’t supposed to help the girls that got into this business despite the fact that she actually wanted to.  

**_Ben – sorry_ **

**_Ben – that was probably clingy_ **

**_Ben – sorry_ **

**_Rey –why are you saying sorry?_ **

**_Ben – you weren’t answering and I got nervous_ **

**_Rey -- I was studying, it’s fine, cute even_ **

**_Ben – are you sure_ **

**_Rey – yeah it’s fine_ **

He was coming after a girl.  

She wasn’t supposed to intervene.  

Fuck it, she got out of the car. She knew that that was against what she was supposed to do, but fuck it. Really, fuck it. Fuck it all to hell. The girl was walking and either didn’t notice the man right behind her or didn’t want to notice the man right behind her. She locked eyes with Rey. She knew he was there and was scared. Rey nodded and the girl picked up her pace. Rey moved in, hoping that she could neutralize the man without having to attract attention to herself.  

It was a lot harder than it looked, though. He easily had one hundred pounds on her, and was not easily put off balance. Long story short, she killed him with her knife instead of her gun.  

He shot her.  

*** 

Ben didn’t think that the next time he would see Rey, she would be knocking on his door with blood on her shirt, looking faint. “I need your help.” She said. She had a first aid kit in her hand and stumbled in.  

“Oh god, what happened?”  

“I got shot.” That was literally all the explanation that she gave him. 

He replied, “I see that, why aren’t you at the hospital?”  

“I don’t need that,” She said, “I just was wondering if you could open that for me.” She winced as she went to sit down on his desk. “I would do it but I shouldn’t really be moving my arm right now.” Of course, Ben opened it. He had a million questions in his mind and he didn’t know how or when to ask them.  

This was weird though, to say the least. He gave her the lighter and she ripped open a pack of sewing needles, “Flick the lighter on. I saved you the gory details of getting the bullet out.” She said that like she had done that before.  

“Are you sure that this is sanitary, Rey?”  

“It is, trust me.”  

“You need to be at a hospital.”  

“You need to do what I tell you to.” Her hands were covered in her own dried blood, and Ben could smell it. Smell the coppery smell of blood all over her. He thought that he was going to be sick, but flicked the lighter on for her as she ran the sewing needle through the flame before opening the kit and grabbing some thread. She closed the wound, halfway through it, Ben had to look away. When she was done, she grabbed the needle she had used and cleaned up her mess.  

There was blood on Ben’s desk. “Do you have bleach?” She asked. “That will get that right off.”  

“Rey, what the hell is going on?”

Why was she acting like she was only stung by a bee and nothing else? What the hell was going on? “Did someone attack you?”  

*** 

“I’m fine, Ben.” She didn’t think he would be this concerned, but she remembered that the way that she processed feelings was definitely not normal. Ben worked on a different level than her. “I’m just going to get out of your hair right now.”  

“That’s not going to happen.”  

“What? Why?”  

“You were just shot, Rey.”  

“Yes, shout that so every one of your neighbors can here.” She was starting to regret coming here. She was tired, she lost some blood, and she really really wanted a burger or some wings right now. Some comfort food while she watched Sherlock and rooted for Moriarty. She didn’t need to be here. “I am fine, Ben. Just let me go and we can talk about this later.” This didn’t help her case any.  

“Really? Rey. You don’t seem fine, you’re pale and you were just bleeding on my desk. Will you please just go lay down on the bed?” Realizing that she wasn’t going to win the argument this way, she went to go lay down on Ben’s bed. She closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep. 

She knew that Ben wasn’t going to do anything to her, so she could rest easy now.  

She was a light sleeper, and rarely got the amount of time of sleep that she required. She was pretty sure it was the blood loss that gave her a good seven and a half hours before waking up. When she did, she noticed that Ben was asleep on his couch and she rolled her eyes. He would’ve slept in his bed if he had just told her to get up and go home. Rey left before he could wake up. 

*** 

Ben didn’t see her for another three weeks, he was starting to get worried. He knew that sometimes she just disappeared, but he didn’t know why she just up and left like that. 

*** 

Getting shot in the shoulder was a minor setback, but when Rey went undercover with all of those other girls, she realized that they had scars too and it wouldn’t matter. Rey was the next one up to dance.   She had set everything up before hand, made sure that nothing was go wrong here. All of the other men in the club that were going to watch her dance were going to die, a lethal dose of barbiturates would be enough to kill them all, except for the one man that was sitting in the very front. For him it would be just enough to knock him unconscious.  

Rey was good at being sexually provocative. She’d always been skilled at it. Whether it be in front of a lot of people or in front of one person, the skill was deception, you have to become what the other person wants you to be, even if you aren’t very good at it. The music played and men watched and cheered and Rey waited as they consumed their drinks. They started falling, one by one. 

Watching it was satisfying.  

***

 

Maybe it was just a coincidence that three sex traffickers were found dead in the three weeks that Rey had gone missing, maybe it was just a coincidence. Ben was paranoid though, he felt like  there was more there than met the eye. Could anyone really blame him? Rey showed up in his dorm bleeding. She had left her blood on his desk, left him to clean it up. Then she just disappeared, instead of telling him what really happened. 

She didn’t answer any of the calls he had made either, so he was just left to worry. He found her sitting outside a café, reading again. Something in him just took over, he felt like he was tripping and sat down beside her. “Oh, Ben.” She smiled. “How are you doing?” It was weird that she was being so nonchalant.It was weird that she was being so nonchalant.  

“Not so good,” She put her book down, staring at him with concern in her eyes. Concern that he wasn’t entirely sure what genuine this time.   

“What’s wrong?” He laughed. Was she really asking him that? Really?  

“I think you know what’s wrong.” He hissed, he knew that if he raised his voice, he would alarm other people. That was something that he didn’t want to do. “You show up in my dorm room, shot, have me help patch you up and then just disappear for three weeks. What the hell was that?”  

Rey blinked, “Calm down.” Her voice was still so calm. Ben should have hit red flags there. That was a major red flag.  

“Calm down?” He was shaking, he adjusted his glasses. “How am I supposed to calm down?”  

“I broke my phone,” She said. “I only got the new one yesterday and I’ve been waiting to see you so I could give you my new phone number.”  

“That doesn’t explain why you came to me bleeding in the middle of the night.”  

*** 

Shit.  

He was right.  

It didn’t.  

“Okay, fine. You want to know so bad, me and my friends were fucking around at the shooting range. One of my friends is a cop in training and I didn’t want him to get in trouble for a round misfiring and hitting me, so we cleaned up and I went to you with the first aid kit because I have a fear of hospitals. They creep me out,” 

“When you disappeared-” He stopped before he could finish his thought.  

“What?”  

“Nothing, it’s stupid.”  

“What?” She asked again, pressing harder this time.  

“Every time you disappear someone dies. Don’t you think that’s a little weird?” 

“Are you accusing me of murder?” He’s right, it’s almost laughable that he’s so clueless but he was almost right on the money. If only he knew. She almost felt bad for him, felt bad for lying to him, but at the same time the deception was a thrill that she had always gotten. She got off on that, not so much the killing. “Ben, I went to my friend, Rose’s to recover. She’s a medical student that goes to the campus about thirty minutes away. That was also the night I broke my phone, I was being stupid and it slipped out of my hand. Finn came over to see how I was doing and I went to sleep on his couch. He’s a flight attendant and gets frequent flier privileges. He was set to go to Japan and I’ve never been. He offered for me to go with him, would you pass that up?” She passed him a plane ticket and saw his jaw set.  

“I’m sorry,” He said, “my mind is stupid it just goes to the darkest places.”  

“It’s fine.”  

“No, I shouldn’t have assumed. Still, next time please tell me where you are. You could have been hurt and I was scared.”  

“I’m glad that you care about me.” Rey smiled. “But you don’t have to worry, trust me.” She wasn’t worthy of that. 


	5. Give and Get

Rey wished that she didn’t have to do this. She didn’t like killing innocent people. Maybe that’s why Rey didn’t really put her heart into this kill. She just picked someone on Ben’s campus to kill that she knew that no one would miss. A loner, no less. 

Everything was cold. Cold and sterile. Just like she needed it to be. It was dark too, so people wouldn’t have seen her get this man into the abandoned dormitories. That was unless, someone was following her. 

And someone was following. 

***

Someone was bleeding out on the floor in front of her. The blood was starting to reach the soles of her Converse. Rey usually wouldn’t care, but as she looked down at the body, she realized that there was something different. 

Ben Solo had seen her this time. In fact, he was right in front of her. Well shit, there was no way to explain this one. “Oh god,” Ben was about to have a breakdown. He had that ‘this is the first time I’ve witnessed murder’ face on. 

“I wouldn’t touch anything if I were you.” The boiler room was a place that wasn’t usually touched in the old rundown dorm room that no one used. It would take a long time before someone actually found this body, if they found this body, but Rey didn’t want Ben to get arrested for having his DNA at the scene. 

He was speechless as he stared at the dead man in front of him. “What the hell?” 

“Oops,” Rey stepped over the dead man and Ben took a step backwards. “Now, I know what you’re thinking.” There was no reason to keep the charade. She let her American accent fall and turn back to usual Russian accent that she had. “And it’s exactly what it looks like.” She shrugged. There was no point in lying when he saw her kill this man. “If you really wanted to believe that I was a perfect girlfriend then you probably shouldn’t have followed me when I said that I was going to the bathroom.” 

***

**_ Earlier _ **

   “ Poe was in Rey’s apartment. She didn’t appreciate that. The first thing she did was point a gun in his face. “Will you relax?” He asked. He rolled his eyes. “I came to share some information with you.” 

“Then why didn’t you just set up a meeting like a normal person.” 

“Neither of us are normal people.” Poe said. “Now, sit.” Rey didn’t stand. She wished that he would get out of here. 

“I think that I’ll stand.” 

“Sit.” Rey sat, after some protest. She wanted to stab him already, but something told her that if she did, she would be in for a world of hurt.  “The bosses want you to kill an innocent person.” 

“I don’t do that.” Rey rolled her eyes. 

“I know that you don’t.” Poe told her. “I told them that you didn’t. It’s a loyalty test.” Rey stayed silent. Wondering where he was going to go with this. “Which is why I’m offering to do it. It means you’d owe me a favor.” 

“When do they want the body by.” 

“Next week.” 

“Can I think about it?” She asked.

“Yeah,” He said, “I’ll be here tomorrow night.” 

***

“How is this my fault?” Ben shouted. 

“ Sh , there’s no reason to yell. I know that it’s alarming I know, but you’re okay. I’m not going to hurt you.” She felt kind of bad when she watched Ben break down. She didn’t know how to comfort him. She wished that she did. It was one of the few times that she wished that she was normal. 

She wasn’t though. “You lied to me.” 

Rey snorted, “That’s your problem. That I lied to you, Ben? Not that I killed someone?” It was an interesting sort of reaction that Rey had never witnessed before. Ben bit his lip, staring from her to the dead body. 

“I asked you--” 

“And what did you expect me to say? You would’ve reported me to the police and I would get the death penalty. That’s just how that works.” Now that he knew, there was part of her that wondered if he was going to try and blow her cover. He surely wouldn’t want to see her again though. 

“What are you going to do now that I know?” 

“Are you going to go to the police?” She should assume that he was. She should kill him to get rid of him and make sure that there wasn’t any mess. She was usually cleaner than this. She should just kill him right now, but she couldn’t. She liked him too much.

“I won’t.” 

“Then go, I won’t bother you again.” Rey wished that she could keep him with her forever, but she wasn’t the type of person to kidnap someone. “Just go, you’ll never see me again.” He was frozen in place for a moment. “Go!” She shouted. He left and she rolled her eyes before picking up her knife. She severed off his thumb and got going as well, making sure that Ben wasn’t in fact going to the police before disappearing to go to Poe  Dameron . 

Rey sighed, knowing who she was going to kill next. She would make sure that Poe  Dameron  gave her proof of loyalty to her bosses and then make sure that she finished the kill this time. It would be painful too. She needed something satisfying to sate her.  She could imagine all the ways that she was going to kill him right now as she headed back to her apartment. 

Poison was too quick. 

Maybe a knife. 

Fantasy was the only comfort that she had right now. If she hyper fixated on that, she wouldn’t have to deal with the inevitable truth. Even if Ben didn’t go to the police with what he saw, she would never get to see him again because he would never forgive her. If she never thought about Ben again, she would forget him and be spared the pain. 


	6. designer death

Rey had a plan.   One that would bring her a lot more satisfaction then it would bring Poe  Dameron . (She was pretty sure that Poe didn’t deserve all the anger that she was directing at him, it was the bosses that were making him do it, but that didn’t stop the fact the fact that because Poe  Dameron

She brought her proof to Poe and watched as he  sent into the bosses. “You okay?” He asked her. “I know that that must’ve been hard for you.” Rey felt like she was floating in a box filled with water and devoid of light.  _ Sometimes you do crazy things for love. What you did was understandable. “ _ Rey?” 

“Yeah,” Rey said. “I’m fine.” 

“Is there anything else that you need from me?” She asked him. 

“Do you want to go to France with me?” She smiled, her eyes glistening. She couldn’t remember the last time that she had this bloodlust. She tried to make sure that she wasn’t fixating on the veins in his neck, which was getting harder and harder to do. 

“Why’d you want to do that?” 

“We haven’t talked in forever; don’t you think that it would be fun?” She tried to sound like she was being nice, like she really wanted to get to know more than him and Poe seemed to take the bait. He wasn’t a psychopath like her. He just didn’t get it. 

“Yeah,” He said. “Sure, let’s go to France.” 

***

Ben was pretty sure that he did fine on his finals, but he was still having an anxiety attack. He wasn’t sure how to quell it either. He ended up just going into one of those  _ Think Inside the Box  _ boxes around his college and shutting the door and locking it. He hyperventilated and cried for a good twenty minutes before coming out. 

He kept thinking about how he had seen Rey following some random kid, how that kid looked pretty freaked out and went into a building that he shouldn’t have. That kid died, and Ben didn’t say anything about it. He was more pissed about the fact that Rey lied to him. 

He was still pissed about the fact that Rey lied to him. 

What the fuck was wrong with him? 

He didn’t know. 

Now she was gone, who knows where, probably breaking more lies. Ben missed her. He really missed her. Maybe it was the fact that he had never had someone act like they were really into him. Maybe he should get over her and realize that she probably didn’t love him. 

Ben went to his dorm room and laid down in his bed. 

He had settled on the fact that she didn’t really love him. Hell, when he found her  out  she had a Russian accent. Was her name really even Rey? He wasn’t sure. 

She didn’t love him. 

She didn’t. 

It was just a cover.

Ben decided that he needed to forget about everything. 

***

Rey really liked spending money on clothes. It was probably the best part of her job. Designer clothes was something she only got when she was in Europe, for the obvious reasons. Europeans always had the best clothes. What gave her more of a delight though was manipulating other people into spending money on clothes for her. Maybe that made her a shitty person, but then again, that made a lot of people a shitty person. 

“We should go shopping.” She told Poe when the two of them checked into a hotel room with fake names. 

“I bet you want to go shopping,” He laughed. 

“Come on.” Rey said. “France is the place for fashion and art. Plus, I think you could use some new clothes. All I’ve seen you in is shitty American shirts and jeans that you probably got from WalMart.” 

“Ouch.” Poe put his hand to his chest in mock hurt. “So, mean,” 

“You know that I’m right, darling. Come on. Plus, I remember that you used to spoil me so much. Don’t you miss that?” 

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” Rey stuck out her lip and started pouting. “That is so not fair,” Rey kept pouting. “Fine. I’ll take you shopping,” Rey smiled, knowing that she was pouring it on a little thick. At this point, she didn’t really care. She was enjoying herself. The two of them went on a spree that ended Rey up at __ _ Galaries _ _  Lafayette  _ and taken up to the suite and get things to try on. 

Rey ended up buying five outfits. Less than she would usually buy. Poe still rolled his eyes when he saw the bill. Rey walked out with a bunch of bags on her arms, wearing a new pink fluffy dress that she looked better in than she thought that she would in. “I’ll get dinner,” She said. 

“No,” He said. “I’ll get dinner.” He was probably pretty sure that she would try to poison him at this point in time. He wouldn’t be wrong, but Rey didn’t care. She already had everything arranged for a much more painful death. She would revel in it for a long time after she carried it out. 

“If you insist,” Rey smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. 

He was going to die. 

***

Ben never got mugged, never got kidnapped, but he guessed there was a first time for everything. He wasn’t really sure what he did to deserve such a shitty time. He knew that it was probably about Rey, but still. Why? He didn’t know. 

***

Rey had fantasized about doing something gross when she ended Poe’s life, so she did it in the most gross, embarrassing way possible to him and took her dresses and shoes with her. She was back overseas when the obituary came out. They didn’t put in the fact that he died during the middle of sex with a knife right through his eye. 

They didn’t mention that it took two minutes and fifteen seconds for him to die and that there might be some DNA on the scene if Rey wasn’t so good at cleaning up. Rey left some of her perfume on him too, just a little reminder of what happened when someone messed with her. 

She didn’t think that she would come back to her home with someone blackmailing her. 

**_ Come to us unarmed if you want Ben Solo alive. -- The Boss _ **


	7. ISTANBUL'S NOT CONSTANTINOPLE

**_ When you love someone, you’ll do crazy things.  _ **

** Rule One:  ** **  Do not touch Rey’s things.  ** When Rey learned how to kill people, she also learned how to protect the few items that she had to her name. “You’ll get more if you’re good at protecting yourself and the things that you love. More if you stay alive.” Rey learned how to protect herself. How to stay alive. She was used to getting clothes from places like Gucci or Chanel or Louis Vuitton, it was only the best and most fashion forward stuff for her. When other assassins would try to take her things, they wouldn’t have hands. 

** Rule Two:  ** ** Do not threaten Rey.  ** Rey had her fair share of threats against her own life, and they were things that she didn’t take very seriously. “We all die one day or another.” Rey would say. Her Russian accent thick with a sarcasm that not many people could understand. People thought that she was so inaccessible. They thought that it took a lot to get Rey’s attention, to make her afraid. Rey liked that. She liked having people scared of her. That made it easier for her. 

** Rule Three:  ** ** Do not even think about harming Ben Solo.  ** Ben Solo was not Rey’s possession, he was not hers, by any means, and if he hadn’t sold her out to the police already than he surely never wanted to talk to her again. Honestly, at this point that was fine. Rey didn’t care if he was mad at her for the rest of her life. She just needed to know that she was safe. 

She didn’t do much planning when she thought about how to get Ben back alive. She knew for a fact that she wasn’t going to walk into a place without backup, so she called some. Three people who she knew for a fact that she could trust. Rose, a getaway driver. Paige, a thief with explosive skills. And Phasma, a woman who was better at breaking spines in half than Rey could ever hope to be. They were all people who owed Rey a favor, people that didn’t break their loyalties. They were also all freelance, so conflicting bosses wasn’t going to hurt her any. They all were in the area too, so Rey didn’t have to wait long to meet up with them and figure out just where Ben was. 

“I’m going to kill every single fucking one of those bastards.” Rey muttered.

“I think that you need to tone it down.” Rose said meekly, “I mean boys are replaceable. That’s why I have a dildo.” 

“This boy is different.” Rey told her. “He’s one of the good ones.”

“There are still good ones?” 

“Yeah, I know right?” Rey shook her head. “Anyway, we need to be able to switch to an ambulance in case he’s in bad shape.” 

“And what do you want us to do if he’s dead?” Paige asked. 

Rey hadn’t thought about that. “If he’s dead,” Rey said. “If he’s dead we burn the whole building to the ground.” 

***

** Rule Four:  ** ** Leave Rey’s guns alone.  ** When she had gone back to her apartment, all of her weapons were gone. Phasma always had a surplus of weapons on her though, so she decided not to worry too much. “This is really just starting to piss me off.” Almost two days had passed. The more that they waited to get Ben, the more chance it was that he was going to be dead. 

Phasma had made a point, though. It would be easier to do this at night. Paige made some dirty bombs for distractions and tight situations; Rose studied the route that she was going to take and the way that ambulances went through and which ones were dormant at what times. Rey was confident that they were going to be able to pull this off. She just needed one little flair to piss her boss off in the best way possible. 

“Do you really want to have that?” Paige asked. 

“Yes,” 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” She said. 

“Fine, whatever you want, boss. I’m only doing this so the two of us can be even.” 

“Thank you, Paige. I really appreciate it.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” 

_ Hold on, Ben Solo. I’m coming for you. You’re going to be okay. I promise.  _ She just hoped that he would accept help from her, and not make this harder than it had to be. Rey wasn’t the type of person who had anxiety, but she found herself lying awake with some sort of feeling itching at her for the longest time possible. It was almost black outside when they headed out. 

They were going to save him. 

***

** Rule Five:  ** ** Know your enemies' weakness.   ** There were always eight guards to an entrance, but there was never a guard on the roof. That was their point of entry. Everyone was good at stealth, using the gutters on the side of the abandoned factory building to get to the roof. The roof had four skylights, one of them was close enough to a catwalk that they were all able to get down and split up. 

Rey turned on the music, and chaos broke out. 

***

Ben was in a haze. He had shut down and just stopped processing the taunts and torture of the men that had been holding him captive. He didn’t remember how he was kidnapped. He didn’t care. He only knew why he was kidnapped. Rey. He wondered if she would come back for him, or if he was going to die here. A lot of the time he was sure that he was going to die here. 

That’s when the music started blaring over the P.A system. He couldn’t believe it at first, it was like something out of a demented dream.   _ Istanbul was Constantinople, now it’s Istanbul not Constantinople, been a long time gone...  _ Bullets sprayed and Ben was snapped out of the daze that he was in. He could see everything. Someone yelled “What the fuck” and then someone else got thrown over the catwalk and landed on their back, right next to Ben. Blood bloomed and pooled out, blossoming in a thick oval. 

_ ‘What the fuck’,  _ was all that Ben could think.  _ Even old New York, Was once New Amsterdam, why they changed it...  _

Ben wanted to cry, but at the same time, he was comforted knowing that there was something that was coming to save him. He felt like he was going to throw up most of all though. 

Rey was going to save him. 


End file.
